April 9, 2014
You know when people say "life gets in the way"? I never understood that phrase until now. Within the past year, life has thrown me so many curve balls, that I'm still learning how to catch them. About 10 months ago, someone very close to me was diagnosed with cancer. You never know how that word will affect your life until you're faced with it. I never talked about it because it's just one of those things where, when I said it out loud, that meant it was real. I didn't want to accept it. Or maybe I couldn't accept it. As the months went by, so many things went through my mind. "What if I don't get to say all the things I want to say?" "Will she ever know how much I love her?" "How much longer can I pretend to be strong?" Between starting a new job where I travel almost every week, to traveling 4 hours every weekend to see her, it became too much to handle physically and emotionally. I felt myself losing control. It's hard to stay strong in a situation you can't make sense of. After months of making memories, her time had come. I've gone through this more times than I'd like to talk about and even though I'm older, it never gets easier. I always tend to shut people out and not want to speak, because I feel like no one will understand my pain. It's something I can't explain, and I guess in a way I shut you all out too. I've learned time heals all, and I'm on my way.
Posted by Augenie Justine